Tuesday, January 8, 2008

oh what a night but not really ..

okay so tonight was eventful yet embarrassing. first off, some girls from my soccer team & i had to work concessions for the boy's basketball game which sucks a fat left nut although we do get to devour unlimited free food. the boys were playing harvey, a predominately black school, so naturally they swept the floor with our white asses. now, it’s rather obvious that i have an odd obsession with black boys which means i was having a field day at this game until I saw chris, no, not chris brown, but this boy i mildly stalked my sophomore summer. we “met” in driver’s ed class when both of our parents were late to pick us up, i’m pretty sure he initiated conversation primarily to boost his ego but i could give two shits, he was fine .. i’m talking milk chocolate that melts in your hand before it even reaches your mouth kinda fine. anyways, back to reality, he was at the game and grabbed my friend’s ass – her ass could fight in combat & make jennifer lopez look like an amateur – but he’s manwhore, honestly though who isn’t these days? [i'm crude & prude] during the game, nikkay [babyporridge] called but i was surrounded by screaming maniacs so i thought she said “missy from albania” not “nikki from australia” .. i hate talking on phones, it makes me nervous & sweaty but then again, i sweat when i read. not only was i embarrassed for looking like complete shit but i lost my seat trying to chat with nikk and got stuck sitting next to an odd, mysterious character, who apparently goes to my school, and he constantly hummed and mumbled to himself then anxiously stared around smiling. did I mention that he smelled like a turdburger straight outta the greaser? on top of that, my principle, who just so happens to be my basketball coach’s dad – douchebag alert – well, i thought he was trying to give me a high five but it was directed to a friend behind me, so i went in for the kill & smacked his hand like it was my job , making me look like a dumbass. i win for longest run-on and grammatically inaccurate sentences. furthermore the absolute highlight of my night was getting into the wrong car while leaving – yes, it’s true – which goes to prove that I am, indeed, mentally handicapped. seriously, my friends and i ran into this minivan thinking it was my friend’s mom, but oh sweet jesus were we wrong, it was some man and he was like “hello girls” .. WE WERE COMPLETELY IN THE CAR and i'm not gonna lie, i've never ran away that fast in my life besides for when i'm being chased or chasing an ice cream truck. blah blah blah. sorry i need to learn how to shorten my thoughts, if you stuck around & actually read this pointless shit then good for you, you get .. nothing :( or maybe a cupcake?

3 comments:

Joseph B said...

i <3 u.

Anonymous said...

"missy from albania"... hahahaha :)
oh gosh, this is definitely my new favourite blog.

babyporridge. said...

IM SO SORRY I MADE YOU LOSE YOUR SEAT.
& I'M GLAD TO SEE THE EMERGENCE OF 'TURDBURGER' IN YOUR ABOVE BLOG.

AND YOU TOTALLY HAVE AMAZING WRITING PROWESS.

ILOVEYOU